


Our love was like a double-edged sword. However much I harmed you,  you hurt me,  too.

by thegirlwhofangirled



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I promise, It will get better tho...maybe, Pining, Second Chances, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwhofangirled/pseuds/thegirlwhofangirled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As she finally lifts her head to meet his eyes, all Seth can see in them is coldness towards him. </p><p>“What do you want me to say, Seth?” Kate offers, her voice raspy from all the crying.</p><p>“I just-” Seth starts to talk only to have her cutting him off.</p><p>“Do you want forgiveness, is that it? No, wait,  you’re a bastard but not that much of a bastard.” She spits mockingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The saddest part of saying goodbye is saying it to the one you wish to spend eternity with.

Seth groans as he rolls over from where he lays on the floor. The pain on his side alerts him of the fact that he is probably going to be sporting a few bruised ribs for the next couple of weeks. He should be used to it by now; getting beat up on a daily basis is one of the perks of his newfound lifestyle. But he is seriously getting tired of getting his ass handed to him by supernatural assholes. He barely manages to sit up, conjuring a cloud of dirt around him as he drags himself upright, only to pause at the scene before him.

“Kate,” Seth breathes.

He remembers now. Kate had saved him, or at least he thought she did. She had gotten in the way of him and Brasa. Sure, she had punched Seth and sent him sprawling away, but still. If she hadn't done that he would've been turned into barbecue by Brasa.

A few feet away from him Kate drops the dagger she was holding after stabbing Brasa and wipes her bloody hands on her clothes. He calls out to her again but she remains in her daze. She didn’t hear him. Her eyes are vacant as she quickly looks over her shoulder to see the source of the voice calling to her. Before she gets a chance to see Seth behind her,she lets out a shriek when Brasa’s grabs onto her calf. The sun god gasps, Amaru’s name slipping past his lips, and shudders his last breath. It is only as Brasa’s body bursts into flames when Kate lets out a body wreaking sob and scrambles away from Brasa’s ashes.

It was finally over.

Seth finally manages to get up from where he sat on the ground and slowly approaches the crying girl.

“Kate?” He asks tentatively. 

At the sound of his voice Kate freezes. She turns to face him and hastily wipes her tear streaked eyes, doing a very bad job at getting rid of the dark tracks of mascara staining her face. Her hair is matted to her head, thanks to sweltering heat, and her cheeks are red from exertion. She looks a hot mess, and yet to Seth she is the most beautiful thing he’s seen in months. He takes a cautious step forward and stops at the small shake of her head.

“Don’t, Seth. _Please_.” She sniffs, looking directly at his chest, her eyes refusing to meet his.

“I’m sorry, Little lady, but I have to say this,” His gut wrenches at the way she cringes at his nickname for her. 

“I was an asshole. I should’ve never left you that night. When Richie told me what happened...I couldn’t sleep for _months_.” 

His voice breaks a little at the last word and it’s not lost to him the way Kate’s eyes mist over. 

“A thousand lifetimes won’t be enough for me to tell you how sorry I am. I can’t- seeing you like this? Knowing that what I did to you set this motion? It fucking kills me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I still thought you should know how sorry I am.” 

Seth swallows past the lump on his throat and ducks his head; attempting to hide the tears falling from his eyes. 

Kate stares at him in silence, her face a cold mask showing no trace of emotion. The young woman standing before him is nothing but a shell of the girl he met months ago. She was angry and broken, and it was all because of him. 

As she finally lifts her head to meet his eyes, all Seth can see in them is coldness towards him. 

“What do you want me to say, Seth?” Kate offers, her voice raspy from all the crying.

“I just-” Seth starts to talk only to have her cutting him off.

“Do you want forgiveness, is that it? No, wait, you’re a bastard but not that much of a bastard.” She spits mockingly.

“You know you screwed me over so you wouldn’t expect me to forgive you. Do you want me to tell you that I hate you instead? I bet that would make you feel better. Or do you want to hear of how for every single day I spent struggling inside my own body, trying to fight my way out, the only thing that kept me going was dreaming of the moment I would be standing in front of you again and shooting you in between the eyes?” 

Seth exhales a shaky breath, head nodding.

“That’ll do, yeah.” 

Kate looks at him in disbelief and rushes towards him. She closes the distance between them until she’s looking up into his eyes, their noses merely inches apart.

“Do you think I’m fucking joking, Seth? Because I’m not. You have no idea the hell I’ve been through.” Kate snarls, her breath brushing his lips.

“Baby girl,” He starts, biting his lip as he takes a moment to compose himself. “If it’s my blood you want I’m more than willing to spill it.” 

Seth reaches for her arm and wants to howl at the way recoils from him. He lifts his hands, showing her he means no harm, and reaches for the gun tucked behind his back. He doesn't miss the way her lips tremble as he places his revolver in her hands. She raises wide, questioning eyes at him and Seth closes his own; fighting the urge to reach for her and hold her.

Seeing Kate still doesn’t understand what he wants her to do Seth takes her hands, immediately noticing how warm her skin feels to the touch; she had been cold before, when Amaru was in control. He starts working her fingers this way and that, until her grip is secure and her finger’s on the trigger. As he brings her hands to place the muzzle between his eyes he sees Kate falter.

“What are you doing?” She asks alarmed.

“You said it yourself, I ruined your life. This is what I deserve.” Seth offers matter-of-factly.

Kate huffs and lowers her eyes. He can see she's struggling with herself, but she seems to come to a decision. Squaring her shoulders, she takes a step back and meets his eyes, gripping the revolver tighter with both of her hands.

“Yes, you did ruin my life.” she whispers, “in fact, my life was over the minute we crossed paths. But somehow, we managed to make it work. We were _partners_ , Seth.” Her voice now grown to an attack, a plea, a storm, “Yet you somehow managed to make everything worse. I am all alone and it's because of _you_.”

Seth nods and blinks away tears.

Her words slice through his heart and he wants to scream. He wants to tell her she's not alone, that she has him, but he doesn't. Because as much as he wants to spend the rest of his days making it up to her, _this_ is his last gift to her. Letting her get rid of the bastard who turned her world into shambles. 

“I know.” He breathes shakily.

Kate's finger is firm against the trigger, ready to squeeze, but she hesitates at the last second.

“ _Seth_.” She chokes, her hands shaking.

“It's okay, baby girl.”

“No.” She sobs.

“You can do this, Kate. Just pull the trigger, I want you to. _Please_.”

She heaves a breath and shakes her head rapidly.

“Pull the damn trigger, Kate!” Seth growls.

“I can't!” She cries, throwing the revolver aside and covering her face with her hands.

Seth catches her before she falls to her knees and hugs her to his chest. For the first time in months he feels he can breathe again. He buries his right hand into her hair, and holds her against him with the other. 

“I am so so sorry, Katie.” He whispers against the crown of her head before placing his lips on her skin.

She lets herself be held by him for a few minutes and then pulls back. Seth cradles her face in his hands and wipes away a stray tear with his thumb. After thinking her gone for six months he finally has her in his arms, and he doesn’t want to let her go. He brings his forehead to hers and takes a deep breath. Back when they had been on the run he had found her crying so many times but he never dared to comfort her. He didn’t know what to do, so he does what he thinks he should’ve done back then and holds onto her for dear life. 

In that moment, all the confusing feelings he’s been harboring for the last couple of months crash into him. Every memory with her, every touch, every smile. It finally hits him. The truth he’d been hiding from himself for so long, a thought he never allowed himself to muster. He _loves_ her. No, he’s _in love_ with her. 

This truth washes over him like a pail of ice cold water.

He knows something about his newfound epiphany must’ve shown on his face because Kate is now looking at him with wide eyes and trembling lips.

“Kate, I-”

“Save it. Don’t do this now.” She whispers harshly. 

Kate shoves his hands away and swallows, taking a step back.

“The only reason why I didn’t pull that trigger is because I already have way too much blood on my hands. I don’t want to be a killer anymore, that’s not who I am.”

“What happened- that wasn’t you, it was Amaru.” Seth assures her.

“I’m aware of that, but it was my hands she used. Every death, every soul she stole and ripped apart I was there. I saw and felt everything. There’s no coming back from that.” 

She gulps, a haunted look settling over her face, and lifts her face to look at him.

“You do deserve to pay for what you’ve done, Seth. But it won’t be by my hand. I’m sure God will take care of that. In the meantime, I want you to spend the rest of your days beating yourself over what you did to me.” 

Kate takes a deep breath and licks her lips, Seth finds himself distracted by action which is why he doesn’t realize she’s backing away. She picks up the gun from the ground and tucks it at her hip.

“Kate, what are you doing?” Seth asks with trepidation. Though he has a feeling he knows what she’s about to do.

“I have to go. I need to heal and I can’t do that with you, not if you ever expect me to forgive you. ”

“Kate.” He pleads.

“Goodbye, Seth.” She murmurs.

Kate backs away from him with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, and walks out of his life once again. 

End of part I


	2. Puppy love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They drive through the dark desert, and Seth takes a moment to ponder his brother’s words. Richie was kind of right. The irony of the situation is not lost on him. Last time, he was the one who abandoned Kate in the middle of the night. The only difference in both instances is that back then Seth thought he was doing what was best for her. He thought he was giving her a chance at surviving by removing himself from her life. He did it because he cared about her, he still does. He realizes he made a mistake back then. Now that he’s the one being left behind? He fucking hates it. Because Kate didn’t leave him to save him, she left because she can’t even stand the sight of him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the silliness you're about to read. Hopefully it warms up your heart as it did mine. Our boy Seth needs sometime to heal and I think this new development might speed things up.

Hours go by before Seth makes himself move from the spot he stood when Kate walked away from him. She’s gone, and she’s not coming back. This time he knows it’s for real. He pulls himself together and stumbles through the desert; the scorching Mexican sun beating on his back. 

Richie doesn’t reach him until almost nightfall; Seth’s cell phone battery had ran out earlier but he managed to call his brother before it did. As soon as Richie spots him he immediately gets out of the car and jogs over to him, eyeing him up and down with a frown. 

Richie tilts his head and pokes Seth on his side.

“FUCK! Richie, what the hell was that for?” He yelps, clutching at his ribs.

“Just as I thought, bruised ribs.” Richie winces in sympathy, earning him a scowl from Seth.

“What the hell happened? Where’s Kate?” Richie asks, all the while looking behind Seth as if Kate might magically appear out of thin air.

“She’s gone.” Seth offers numbly.

“Wait, what do you mean gone? Is she…” Richie’s eyes widen. “She’s dead?! How-” 

“No, you moron.” Seth starts. “She left.” Richie visibly relaxes at this clarification and Seth goes on.

“She took my gun and walked away. Said she wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

Richie nods in understanding and stares at the ground soberly. “At least we know she’s alive.” He offers.

Seth nods in agreement and finds Richie staring at him strangely. “What?” He asks wearily.

“Nothing, really. It’s just- exactly six months ago, you were the one who left her in the middle of the road. Now you’re the one being dumped. It’s kind of poetic, really.” Richie muses to himself.

“Shut up, Richard.” Seth barks.

Richie shrugs and tells him to get in the car. 

They drive through the dark desert, and Seth takes a moment to ponder his brother’s words. Richie was kind of right. The irony of the situation is not lost on him. Last time, he was the one who abandoned Kate in the middle of the night. The only difference in both instances is that back then Seth thought he was doing what was best for her. He thought he was giving her a chance at surviving by removing himself from her life. He did it because he cared about her, he still does.  
He realizes he made a mistake back then. Now that he’s the one being left behind? He fucking hates it. Because Kate didn’t leave him to save him, she left because she can’t even stand the sight of him.

***

He shifts around on his bed when he hears the faint sound of motel room door opening then closing. Probably Richie leaving for his midnight snack. Seth pulls the covers tighter around himself and burrows deeper into the bed. It’s strange. Earlier there had been plenty of complaints on Richie’s part about the dodgy looking A.C. unit in their room, and how it wouldn't be able to combat the sweltering heat. But the blasted thing seemed intent on proving him wrong now.

“ _Fucking freezing_.” Seth mumbles into his pillow. 

He turns on his side, instinctively drawing closer to the warmth coming from the other end of the bed, and freezes when his arm comes in contact with warm, soft skin. Left hand already reaching for the revolver under his pillow, Seth braces himself to face the intruder and stops when he opens his eyes to Kate’s good natured gaze fixed on him.

He lets out a surprised chuckle and gives her a small smile. 

“You’re back.” He sighs in relief. 

Kate smiles at him in return and shifts closer until both of their heads are resting on the same pillow. Her eyes seem to take every single one of his features in, and Seth feels himself starting to grow warm under her scrutiny. They regard each other in silence for a few minutes before he finally speaks.

“You didn’t have to go.” 

“Yes, I did.” 

“We could make it work this time.” Seth swallows.

He sees the shadows of doubt crossing her face.

“Stay, please.” He says with more urgency.

“Too much has happened, Seth. I’m not that person anymore.” Kate says gravely.

A frown graces her face and Seth fights the urge to smooth the lines on her forehead with his thumb. He tentatively reaches for her hand instead, lacing their fingers together which brings a shy smile to her face.

”You said you could never leave me.” He whispers.

Kate’s gaze turns soft as she touches his face, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. 

“That wasn’t me, Seth” She starts softly, her voice sounding as if he’s hearing it from under water. “It was a drug induced dream. Much like this one.”

“No. No no no no. This is real, you’re here.” He rushes out desperately. 

Kate shakes her head and blinks, revealing crimson eyes.

“No.” Seth gasps, closing his eyes.

He wakes up from his nightmare with labored breathing and finds himself on his motel room, _alone_. Another dream. At least she wasn’t ripping his head off in this one. 

***

The first few months following their fateful goodbye were the hardest for him. It’s the “Kate is dead crisis” all over again. Richie watches over him like hawk to prevent him from doing something stupid. 

“We need to be focused. That means no drugs.” Richie threatens him one day after finding Seth trying to score some heroin during one of their trips.

Without the distraction of the high, Seth has to endure each day painfully sober. He finds himself catching glimpses of Kate everywhere they go. Soon enough things start to go smoothly. The guilt becomes a little bit easier to bear. He starts to think maybe healing will be a possibility after all.

 

Four months into their new life Richie makes contact with a network of culebras who managed to survive Amaru’s apocalypse, and the cash starts flowing in again. Seth doesn’t take much part in it, though. He has enough money saved from his days of working for the lords, so he figures there’s no need for him to tag along. Besides, he’s tired of it all. He starts to think maybe it’s time for him to settle down somewhere, to find his paradise. 

He finds it six months later when they stop at a small town along the coast of Mexico. It’s the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone. They speak mostly spanish but he sees a lot of foreigners live there too, so english comes naturally to a lot of the inhabitants. He finds a house for sale on the outskirts of the town, a bit isolated but he welcomes the privacy. God knows he needs it with some of the shit that follows him around. The place is modest in size, and it will probably take awhile to fix it up, but Seth rises up to the challenge. He needs the distraction. The house also happens to sit by the edge of the beach so that’s a plus.

He makes it his goal to become accustomed to the town he will call his permanent home, so he takes daily walks to scope out the area. During one of his trips he finds a small loncheria style restaurant located at the center of town. The ambiance is warm and private, not too many customers except for the regulars he starts to notice on each of his visits. It is there he meets a young woman named Sol, the owner of the place. She’s petite and sweet looking but Seth can tell there’s steel underneath. Her eyes tell stories of endured suffering, but there’s also kindness in them. Unlike many other people in the other local business she never tries to strike up a conversation with him; something he’s very thankful for. At times she reminds him of Kate; Richie takes to her instantly.

“Buenas noches, Solecito.” Richie says cheerily, sitting down at their usual table.

Sol shakes her head in amusement from behind the counter as she handles the register. She says goodbye to the last customers of the day and approaches their table soon after.

“Mr. Richie,” She greets with a smile. “What will you have today?”

“The usual, please. And, can we have some of your fried tortilla chips? We could smell them all the way from the door and Seth here was almost salivating.” 

“Okay. Two horchatas, an order of tamales verdes, and chilaquiles?” 

“Please.” Seth nods.

“I’ll go ahead and work on your orders.”

Another reason why Seth and Richie love coming to Sol’s loncheria is because she never questions their reasons for always showing up right before closing time. She'd been weary of them at first but somehow they managed to charm their way into her good graces.

When Sol arrives with their food some time later, she seems surprised at the way Seth savagely digs into his place while Richie happily sips his horchata.

“You seem to be working extra hard on the house.” Sol notes.

Richie nods and proceeds to give her a rundown of all the repairs they’ve done so far. 

“At the pace we’re working right now we should be done in a few weeks. Given that my brother is intent on working us to the bone.” He finishes side eyeing Seth. 

Sol raises an eyebrow at him and Seth hunches over guiltily.

What Richie fails to mention is that since he can’t really bring his butt outside while the sun is out to start working early in the day, Seth is the one who has to slave himself away the entire day while he only shows up for a few hours. He can’t really be blamed for wanting to take advantage of his brother’s supernatural strength.

“No one asked you to stay and work on the house, go back to your place if that’s what you want.” Seth grumbles in between bites of his tamales.

“You'd be lost without my carpentry skills.” Richie scoffs, leaning back on his chair.

Seth puts down his work and waves his hands in Richie’s direction. 

“Right, this coming from the guy who nearly sawed off his thumb.”

“That's because I was distracted by your horrible singing.” Richie sputters.

Sol’s soft giggles brings them out of their argument and they realize they’re making fool of themselves.

“You are very, ah, entertaining.” Sol chuckles.

Richie preens at her words and Seth snorts.

“Your english has gotten much better, Sol.” Seth compliments her.

“Thank you. A very dear friend has been helping me to learn.” Sol says, a delicate blush spreading over her cheeks.

“Oh, would this be the same dear friend who helped you set up the loncheria?” Richie smirks.

Seth has no idea what they’re talking about; he knows Richie sometimes shows up by himself to the restaurant which is why Sol and him are on more friendly terms. But by the way Sol’s blush deepens he’s sure Richie is right on the mark. 

The three of them continue conversing, and by conversing he means he and Richie team up to tease Sol while she makes fun of them in Spanish, when a noise from outside startles them.

Sol stops mid sentence, her gaze zeroing on the front windows. Seth’s hand automatically reaches for his gun. When he turns to Richie his eyes are already flashing culebra green. 

They start to head for the door when Sol’s hand shoots out to stop Seth.

“Cuidado.” She whispers, her somber eyes fixed on his face.

Seth remembers enough from his Spanish class in High School to she just told him to be careful. Richie looks over his shoulder giving her a “what about me?” look, but Sol’s eyes remain on Seth even as she tells Richie she knows he can take care of himself. 

Seth’s first thought is that maybe he should be offended by what she’s insinuating, yet he keeps quiet. There’s something about the way Sol looks at him that’s unsettling; he can’t exactly figure out why. He’s starting to think maybe their little Sol knows more than what she’s been letting on.

He gives her a reassuring nod and tells her to stay behind them. Both he and Richie head out the front entrance, Seth’s gun ready to fire, when a low whine coming from a nearby bush stops them.

Richie steps closer and crouches by the bush, all the while squinting at it, when a dark shadow lounges at his face with a bark. Seth lets out a surprised curse and aims his gun at the thing latching onto his brother’s face; Richie’s gone full on culebra mode by now, he’s hissing and thrashing around the small ball of fur biting his nose.

Realization dawns on Seth and he bursts out laughing, lowering his gun. It’s a fucking dog. The puppy let’s go of Richie, falling on the ground with a yelp and this one glares at the furry creature.

“Relax, it’s just a dog.” Seth laughs, only to become the new target of Richie’s death glare.

“It fucking bit me, Seth!” Richie whines looking hilariously offended, holding his bleeding nose.

Despite Richie’s protests Seth carries the puppy back into the loncheria where Sol quickly starts fussing over it; cleaning with a damp towel and checking it for injuries. The dog is a dark chocolate lab with blue eyes and seems to be about 8 weeks old. Seth keeps referring to it as little guy until Richie points out the little guy is actually a little girl. Sol frowns holding the puppy’s paw and informs them it looks like she’s been bitten on the leg by a snake. 

Seth gives Richie an accusatory glare and this one leans back mouthing “I didn’t do it.”

“She seems fine for now. I don’t think the snake was venomous but I’m still going to take her to the local vet just in case.” 

“Want us to take you?” Richie offers, seeming to have warmed up to the puppy.

“It’s okay.” Sol reassures him with a smile. “I already called someone to take me. You guys go on home and rest.” 

“Are you sure, I mean. We’re already here-”

“Let it go, Richie. She said she’s got it.” Seth sighs.

Seth would never admit it, but he’s not really ready to part from the puppy either. He figures maybe it’s his conscience nagging at him; after having confessed to Richie what really happened with Peaches, seeing this pup brought plenty of memories. Or maybe his attachment has something to do with how the puppy snuggled up against him when he carried it inside, its twinkling blue eyes focused on him.

 

***

 

If Sol notices the increase of Seth’s visits to her establishment, she does not mention it. Each passing day he comes up with excuses to show up bearing gifts for the puppy; he brings food, toys, and even a small playpen so Sol can keep working without having to worry the puppy’s going to get out causing raucous around the restaurant. He asks her if she plans to keep it but she says she can’t given that her mom is allergic. 

“I know of someone else who might want her. Unless… _you_ are interested?” Sol smiles, giving Seth a knowing look.

Seth tries to look uninterested at her question but fails horribly if Sol’s triumphant grin is any indication.

“Okay, I’m not going to lie. I’m really tempted by the offer but I don’t know how the little lady might react to Richie again.”

Sol smiles at the nickname Seth had bestowed upon the puppy and nods in understanding of his predicament. She tells him the offer still stands, unless someone else claims the puppy first. 

“I can’t keep her for too long, so think about it.”

By the time Seth makes up his mind about taking in the puppy a few weeks later, Sol informs him she already found a new home for it.

 

“Really?” He starts disappointed. “But Richie said he saw it just a few days ago, I figured you still hadn’t found someone to take her in.” 

“He did see her, but that’s because that same day the new owner was on her way back from the vet and she dropped by to show me how the puppy was doing.”

Sol realizes just how affected Seth is by the news she tries to comfort him.

“I’m really sorry, for what it’s worth I can assure you the puppy is in very good hands. ” Sol says sympathetically.

Seth feels like an idiot. It’s just a damn dog, and yet he can’t fight this feeling that he’s meant to have this dog. 

“Do you think she would consider selling it to me? I’ll pay whatever price she asks for, I don’t care.”

“Wow, you must _really_ want this dog.” Sol laughs nervously. 

Seth ducks his head embarrassed. “I just-you know how I came here to start over and whatnot? I just thought it would be nice having the dog with me, raising it. I don’t know, I guess it sounds stupid.”

“It doesn’t sound stupid to me.” Sol offers. “It sounds more like you’d like some company.” 

Her choice of words bring him to a halt; it brings memories of a hot day under the desert sun, a pair of trusting blue eyes focused on his own. Was this his subconscious’ strange way of trying to atone? Of trying to heal?

“Maybe.” Seth ponders. “But I guess that won’t be the case now, will it?” 

Sol studies him in silence, and something in her gaze unnerves him. It’s like she’s seeing right through him, or knows something he doesn’t. Uncomfortable under her scrutiny, Seth leans on the bar and reaches for a straw, starts to fidget with it. From the corner of his eye he sees her answering her cell phone and carrying a conversation in Spanish.

He likes to think his Spanish has gotten better over the past couple of months but he’s not able to pick up much of what she’s saying. He makes out the words “perrito”, which he knows is puppy, and “triste” from a Spanish song Richie kept on singing under his breath a few months back. It means sad. Was she talking to the new owner? Did Sol think he was sad? Sure, he was kind of bummed but he wouldn’t say he was broken up about it.

Sol turns to him and hands him her phone. “Here.” 

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Seth grouches.

“It’s my friend, Lady’s new owner. Plead your case, maybe you’ll win her over.” Sol tells him with a shrug.

He narrows his eyes at Sol and brings the phone to his ear but there’s dead silence on the other end of the line. 

“Hello?” He says, and a sudden inhale of breath alerts him that there’s really someone there.

He clears his throat and keeps on talking. “Hi, my name’s Seth Gecko. I’m a friend of Sol’s and I was wondering if there’s any way you would consider selling me the dog. You see, I was actually thinking of coming to take it home but I had some things to work through before making that decision. I know you might be thinking ‘if you wanted the dog so badly why didn’t you claim it sooner?’ well the answer to that it’s pretty simple, I’m a moron. What I’m really trying to say here is I would really appreciate it if you’d consider letting me have the dog. Little Lady and I have been bonding for a while and I was really looking forward to raising her. I will take great care of her she will have everything she needs, I swear. If I ever mess up I’m pretty sure Sol and my brother will have my ass, so that front is covered.”

Upon finishing his rant Seth notices the other person is still silent. Only then does he realize maybe they only spoke Spanish. 

“Shit. Can you not speak english? My bad--fuck.” Seth puts the phone on speaker and turns to Sol in panic, finding her holding back tears of laughter.

“Seriously?” He groans. “Stop laughing and do something. How the hell do I say all of this in spanish?”

“Esta bien. El perro es suyo.” Comes the slightly accented voice of a woman from the speaker phone.

Seth looks at Sol for translation of what was just said and she’s giving him two thumbs up.

“You did it! The dog is yours.” She smiles.

“Shit, seriously? Thank you, thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

“Si. E-esta bien. Yo- Sol, please?” The voice over the phone wavers. 

Seth suddenly becomes alert, it almost sounds like the woman is about to cry. Why? He has no fucking idea. Besides the strange emotion in her tone there was something else about her voice that was nagging at him. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind, though, because he can clearly sense there’s something else going on and the woman really needs to talk to her friend. Before Seth can hand the phone back to Sol she’s snatching it out of his hands and disappearing behind the kitchen doors. Moments later she returns and tells him to give her his address so her friend can drop off the dog tomorrow at his place. 

“What about the payment? Did she say how much she wanted for the puppy?”

“She said not to worry about it. I think your words were enough for her.” Sol replies. 

“Really?” Seth frowns, doubtful.

Sol nods amused, and tells him to at least clean up a little bit before her arrival.

“Try to make an effort. Your brother mentioned the house is kind of a mess right now with all the remodeling. A shave won’t hurt you either.” 

“You trying to play matchmaker or something?” Seth teases.

Sol only shrugs and gives him a cat eating grin.

***

The next day Seth spends most of his morning giving the house some finishing touches and cleaning up. He finished remodeling the dining room/kitchen area first because it had a view to the beach and he spends plenty of time looking at it, and of course he fixed up his bedroom since that’s where he sleeps. But there are still a couple of things around the house that need to be looked at.

Around mid afternoon he calls Richie asking him how to puppy proof the house; it’s been awhile since he last had a pet. Richie makes fun of him and his puppy fever for a full ten minutes before calming down and giving him useful tips.

“I have few things to do before heading there but I should get to your place around seven-ish. So we should be all set by the time your newborn arrives.”

“Very fucking funny, Richie.” 

“Hey, I’m just saying. You’re being kind of over the top with this dog thing.”

“Whatever. Sol’s friend is getting here sometime in the evening so I guess I’ll have to start the house tour without you if you don’t get here soon.” 

“Have you thought about what you’re naming the dog yet?”

“Little Lady.” Seth smiles to himself.

“Now I know what this is really about.” Richie says with a sigh.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Seriously, Seth? You have to let it go. She’s gone. You said it yourself she wants nothing to do with you. Stop beating yourself.”

“You’re wrong. This isn’t about her, it’s about me.”

Seth hangs up and goes about the house before he decides to get started on dinner, his mother’s pasta recipe. He remembers Sol’s words from the day before, that he should try to make an effort, and throws in an extra serving of pasta for his visitor before heading upstairs; the woman is giving him the dog for free, the least he can do is offer her some dinner. He takes a quick shower and as he’s about to leave the bathroom he notices his beard. He’s kind of neglected himself in the grooming department these past couple of months. He hasn’t really cared to see the face underneath; a face he knows has caused so much pain and disappointment. In the end he opts to shave a little bit, if only to look somewhat presentable. 

Just as Seth’s finishes getting changed into a white tank and sweats he smells something burning.

“SHIT!” He curses to himself, running to the kitchen.

He’s trying to salvage what’s left of the pasta sauce when he hears a knock on the door. Looking at his watch he figures it must be Richie; he yells for him to come in, that the door’s open. At first there’s only silence followed by sound of the door opening and closing; then he swears he hears the sound of a dangling chain and small paws scrambling over tile. When he turns around he sees the dog wagging its tail at him.

“Hey, little lady how did you get here?” He croons, lifting the puppy in his arms and cradling it to his chest.

Seth is so focused rubbing the puppy’s belly he doesn’t really register the person standing by the door. He looks up and freezes. _Kate_. Kate is standing there, watching him. He realizes he must be holding onto the dog too tight because the puppy starts barking and wriggling, wanting to be let down, until it's finally out of his grasp. 

“No. Th-this isn’t real.” He stutters , stumbling back . 

Like in his many other dreams she looks as beautiful as ever; standing in silence and studying him with melancholic eyes. Unable to bear her gaze, he turns away and finds support to stand by leaning against the wall. 

“Not again.” Seth gasps, drawing in a shallow breath. He can feel his own heartbeat pounding away in his ears and disbelief heavy on his tongue. _This isn’t happening. He’s not falling for this again_. The last thing he sees through blurry eyes as he collapses is Kate’s face swimming above him, her mouth calling out his name.

***  
Seth comes to and finds he's laying on the couch with a kitchen towel on his forehead. He rubs his face and winces. From what he can tell there’s a small gash on his temple with a butterfly band aid. 

“You almost bust your head open when you fainted.” Offers Richie, towering over him with a frown. “Really, Seth? You _fainted_? What happened?”

Seth sits up slowly, blinking away the fogginess from his eyes. 

“Fuck if I know. I was in the kitchen and there was someone at the door. Next thing I know Lady started barking and then…” He trails off, looking around and seeing no traces of the dog. “Was I daydreaming?”

Richie sighs and sits next him, a thoughtful expression on his face as he says.

“No, I don't think you were.”

As if on cue, the puppy pads into the living room and paws at Richie’s leg, begging for someone’s attention. He smirks and leans down to scratch her belly. Seth tenses up at the scene before him. First of all, since when were those two this chummy? Second of all, if the dog was really here did that mean...

“How did it get here?” Seth asks, bracing himself for Richie’s answer. 

He knows his brother’s answer will either finally brand him as a lunatic who keeps hallucinating the young woman he did wrong or be the answer to the prayers he’s been whispering to whatever god is out there since the day Kate walked out on him.

“I found it next to you when I arrived a few minutes ago. The former owner brought the dog over.” Richie answered him with a raised eyebrow and fighting back a smirk. 

“What did you say?” Seth whispers incredulous. 

He sits up, willing his heart to stop beating so hard. He doesn't dare to hope his inkling is right.

Richie’s mouth unfurls into a full wide smile.

“I said, her owner brought her over. The young lady was nice enough to haul your ass to the couch and treat your wound. She also said to tell you she'll be waiting by the beach-”

Richie’s not even done with the sentence when Seth’s already bolting from the couch and going through back door leading to the beach; the puppy barking at his heels, excited by the sudden commotion.

Richie bellows a him that he invited her over for dinner so not to take too long

Seth stops when he spots a petite figure with her back to him staring off at the ocean. The puppy runs past him until it reaches her and lays down at the young woman's feet.

“Hi, baby.” She coos at the dog, crouching to scratch behind its ears.

Her hair is shorter, barely reaching her shoulders, and back to its original brown color. She's sporting a very slight tan, which has resulted in a smattering of new freckles on her nose and cheeks. She looks so good and happy compared to the broken young woman who left him in the middle of the dessert almost a year ago. The guilt that weighed down on her back then seems to be gone. She's wearing jeans and a white lacy tank top. Seth swallows at the way the jeans wrap around her ass as she crouches down. She looks so fucking beautiful it takes his breath away. 

When she realizes Seth is there she stands and faces him, wiping her hands on her jeans before crossing her arms over her stomach.

“You gonna pass out on me again?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

Seth's stays rooted to his spot, not uttering a word; he’s scared of saying or doing anything. If this is another dream he doesn’t want to wake up. 

“Is this real?” He says shakily.

Kate’s teasing smile drops from her lips. “Of course it is.”

“Kate.” He exhales, lunging towards her and pulling her into his arms. 

Due to their height difference he ends up lifting her up a little bit. Which makes things awkward given that she’s not hugging him back. But then he feels her arms wrapping around his shoulders and breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Hi, Seth”. 

End of part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey guys. So that just happened. Now Seth's got a puppy to worry about AND Kate walking back into his life. Our two angsty protagonists finally meet again and I for one cannot wait for you to see how this reunion plays out. 
> 
>  
> 
> This story was supposed to be a two parter but I got carried away so I had to split up the second chapter into two. Do not worry, though. Chapter 3 is already written and being looked over my beta. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are more than welcome. If you've already left some in the past go ahead and drop another one. Let me know what you like or don't like about the story. Constructive criticism is appreciated.


	3. In the dark eternity Like sunshine, you fell down on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hated you so much.” She whispers, resting her forehead against his jaw.
> 
> “I know, and that’s okay.” He says gruffly.
> 
> “I hated you, but I hated myself even more because- even knowing what I did; after all you put me through, I still cared for you.”
> 
> Kate realizes she probably shouldn’t have said that. That’s a whole other can of worms she’s not ready to open yet, but Seth seems to be ready if his next words are anything to go by. 
> 
> “What about now?” He says quietly, eyes searching her face. “Do you still care?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here guys, the final chapter of this saga. Our precious babies finally see each other after spending a year apart and have a much needed talk. I hope you guys like what's to come. Also, rating went up due to some developments...yeah. Enjoy! ;P

Kate’s dad always told her as a child that her curiosity would one day be her undoing. Standing here while waiting for Seth to come outside to finally meet her, she can’t help but admit her dad was right. She swore to herself she would drop off the dog and walk away without cluing him in of her true identity.

In the end she couldn’t help herself. The urge to see him up close ended up being too strong. When she walked into the house earlier and saw him standing there wearing that damned wife beater tank top she almost cried. Why did he look so good? For months she tried to picture him, to recall every dimple and crease of his face but her memories were still kind of foggy, courtesy of Amaru’s torment. Now that she’s finally seen his face up close again, she realizes her memories really couldn’t have done him justice.

She turns around at the sound of the puppy’s bark and smiles when she sees the little bundle of fur throw itself at her feet.

“Hi, baby,” she coos at it, crouching down to pet it.

This dog had been the best thing to happen to her when Sol brought it home days ago, like a balm for her damaged soul. She had always wanted a pet as a child, but her dad didn’t think it would be prudent to have one due to her momma’s allergies.

When Sol mentioned people were asking if she would consider selling it, Kate didn’t think she could ever part with it, but then she heard Seth’s voice over the phone that day and it was game over for her. The man pretty much begged her to have the puppy. His urgency piqued her interest. That’s mainly what prompted her into making this stupid decision.

She’s so focused on playing with the puppy that it takes her a minute to realize Seth’s watching her. She looks up and meets his look of disbelief. _This should be interesting_ , Kate thinks to herself as she stands up to face him. She doesn’t even know where to start, so she makes an attempt at humor.

“You gonna pass out on me again?” 

If she has to choose a word to describe the look on his face at the moment, it's flabbergasted. He’s also still looking a little pale from the shock of seeing her. She was so scared when he fainted and hit his head earlier; not exactly the reaction she was expecting from him. She'd rushed to his aid and managed to get him into the couch, whispering soothing words to calm his delirious rant. It reminded her too much of the days when he used to shoot up with heroin ,so she ended up stepping outside to get some air; she couldn’t handle it.

Kate waits for him to say something, anything really. But he’s still looking at her with wide eyes, as if she were a ghost. She’s about to tease him about it when his shaky voice stops her.

“Is this real?” He murmurs.

Kate swallows the teasing remark at the tip of her tongue, realizing he’s truly shaken up by her presence. Her heart gives a little tug at the broken look in his eyes. How many times did the memory of her haunt him before, that he’s not able to differentiate between reality and a dream? 

“Of course it is,” she reassures him.

She sees the shift in his eyes, the moment he realizes she’s real. His pupils widen and he takes a tentative step forward. 

“Kate.” He exhales, lunging forward and wrapping his arms around her.

His reaction catches her off guard. They’d never been this physical with each other before, and she’s scared of they way her body’s reacting to his touch. Seth uses his arms to hoist her up and, despite her inner struggles, Kate ends up holding him back. 

It’s been so long since she was last hugged like this. She gets hugs from Sol whenever she wakes screaming from the nightmares that haunt her, from Sol’s mother whenever she thanked her for giving them a chance at a new life. Richie had hugged her earlier when he saw her in Seth’s living room. But this? She doesn't remember ever feeling like this. Her heart’s beating frantically and there’s a warmth spreading from the center of her chest to the rest of her body. She felt cold and empty for so long and now she finally _feels_ something. The last thing she wants right now is to break down crying, but her emotions are not cooperating with her and the tears begin to fall.

“Hi Seth,” she whispers, her lips brushing against his skin. 

Kate feels him shiver at the sound of her voice and he tightens his hold on her, pulling her tighter against his chest. When he buries his nose in her hair and groans it's her turn to shiver. She knew she missed him, but not to this extent. They hold onto each for what to Kate feels like ages, before he finally sets her down. She pulls back from his arms and spots the cut on his head.

“Now that's gotta hurt something bad.” She winces, touching his temple gently.

Seth lowers his head self consciously. “It’s nothing. I’ve been through worse.”

Oh, she knows he’s been through worse, and yet, she can’t help but to feel concerned. What if he has a concussion? She’s starting to think she should’ve told Richie to take him to the clinic. Maybe there is still time. 

“What are you doing here? How, how did you find me?” Seth asks, breaking her train of thought.

Here it is, the moment she’d been dreading. She doesn’t really feel like giving too many details so she gives him the easiest answer for now.

“I came to drop off Lady at her new home.” 

Seth gives her one of his signature ‘ you bullshitting me?’ looks. 

“That day, on the phone, it was you, wasn't it?” He says, with dawning realization.

Kate nods.

“Un-fucking-believable. How--how could I not realize realize?” Seth shakes his head in disbelief. “How did I not know it was you?”

“It’s okay, Seth. I didn’t want you to know it was me, I tried to disguise my voice as much as I could.”

“Still. I should’ve known.”

Kate can tell he’s frustrated, and angry, more at himself than her, though. He looks so disappointed in himself, her heart aches for him. Seth flexes his hands at his sides and closes his eyes. She spent enough time with him in the past to know he’s going to beat himself over this for a while. 

“I can’t believe you’re _here_. I didn’t think I’d get to see you again, after what happened at the dessert. When I saw you standing in there, I thought... ” He trails off. “Let’s just say the last couple of months after you left were a bit of a trip.”

“I bet. After all, you _did_ faint at the sight of me.” 

Seth looks down in embarrassment and chuckles. She’d almost forgotten that sound, it brings back broken memories of hot, summer days spent driving through desert roads. Despite their circumstances, things had been easier back then. 

She feels Seth’s hand on her shoulder and finds him watching her worriedly.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Now that’s a hard question to answer. She starts walking closer to the shore, not even bothering to check if Seth is following her because she knows he will. He catches up to her and matches her stride. They walk next to each other in comfortable silence, the sound of the crashing waves being the only sound around them. Stealing a glance at him, Kate finds he’s calmly looking at the ocean. She knows what he’s doing, and she’s grateful for his patience. She can only imagine all the questions running through his head right now. She knows he wants answers and yet he’s giving her time to organize her thoughts.

She picks a spot by the sand and sits down, hugging her legs to her chest. Seth follows suit and proceeds to quietly wait for her to start talking. He wants to know if she’s okay. _Is_ she okay? About a year ago she couldn’t even close her eyes without having images of all the terrible things she did as Amaru flashing through her head. It took so long for her to come to terms with the fact none of those things were her fault. 

“For the longest time I couldn't even stand staring at my own reflection,” Kate starts, keeping her eyes trained on the water. “You ask me if I’m okay? I’m as okay as someone who’s been through what I did can be. I like to think that I’m better now. It's still a work in progress, but I am definitely better than I was a year ago.”

She doesn’t have to turn her head to know he’s watching her. She can feel his eyes on her.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Kate. Really.” 

Kate nods and trains her gaze on him.

“What about you? Are _you_ okay?” Her eyes anxiously go to his arms looking for any sign of track marks.

Seth notices her looking and holds out both of his arms. “Relax, princess. I haven't touched that stuff in months, almost a full year now. Richie threatened to kick my ass if I did.”

Kate lets out a relieved breath.

“Good.” She nods rapidly, fighting back tears.

It only takes Seth throwing his left arm around her and hugging her to his chest for the tears to finally fall. She doesn’t mean to cry, in fact, it is the last thing she wants, but the comfort of his touch unleashes an avalanche of feelings she had been holding back for way too long. Enveloped in the warmth of his arms, Kate lets herself cry over their broken past. He holds her through body shaking sobs, running a comforting hand down her arm, and she feels the warm touch of his lips on her temple. 

“I’m so sorry I let this happen to you, Katie.”

“I hated you so much.” She whispers, resting her forehead against his jaw.

“I know, and that’s okay.” He says gruffly.

“I hated you, but I hated myself even more because- even knowing what I did; after all you put me through, I still cared for you.”

Kate realizes she probably shouldn’t have said that. That’s a whole other can of worms she’s not ready to open yet, but Seth seems to be ready if his next words are anything to go by. 

“What about now?” He says quietly, eyes searching her face. “Do you still care?”

Seth was always able to keep a great poker face whenever they pulled a job back in Mexico, keeping his emotions in check. Which is why she cannot read his face at the moment. Does he really need to ask this? Of course she cares. She doesn’t remember the exact moment she started caring for him, but she can pinpoint the moment she realized she was in love with him.

Her “epiphany” took place the night he left her on the middle of the road, after she told him she wanted out so she could go look for Scott. He gave her a fake passport, her share of the money from their latest heist, and told her to do whatever the hell she wanted. He began to drive away and she felt strangely liberated. If she went ahead and focused on getting her brother back she wouldn’t have to spend more time with Seth, torturously trying to come up with a definition of her feelings for him. Then she saw him driving back towards her and she felt herself faltering. Was he coming back for her? Would he try to talk her out of it? More importantly, if he asked her to stay with him, would she? Before that night if someone had asked her those questions she would answer no in a heartbeat. Scott was the only family she had left, finding him was a priority. But at that moment? She wasn’t so sure of what her answer would be.

In the months she’d spent with Seth he had become her new family, maybe even more. When he got out of the car she expected him to at least try to reason with her; instead, he did something entirely different. He gave her _his_ share of the money, the keys to the car, and walked away into the night. Seth Gecko, thief of thieves and money loving scoundrel, sacrificed himself to make sure she found her way to the only family she had left. Without looking back, Kate got into the car and raced away. She cried the entire drive back to Bethel. 

In his own twisted way, Seth cared about her, and she finally realized she cared about him too. She also realized she would probably never get to see him again.

Except Kate was wrong, because here he is, standing in front of her asking her if she still cares about him. Suddenly she feels like she can’t breathe, this is all too much and she clearly isn’t ready to revisit those feelings again.

“I--I gotta go,” Kate rushes, scrambling up to her feet and heading for the house.

“Kate, wait!” Seth calls after her.

She starts to run and feels him trying to catch up to her. Kate races all the way into the house, almost running into Richie.

“Kate, you’re leaving already?”

“Yes.”

“But why, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” She scans the area to find her bag and car keys. “Richie, it was nice to see you again. I would love to catch up but I--I forgot I had something else to do, so I’m gonna go.” 

Richie seems skeptical to her answer and looks somewhere over her shoulder. “What did you do now?” 

“Stay out of this, Richie,” comes Seth’s voice from behind her. “Kate, can you please stop? We need to talk.”

“No, Seth. I think I’ve done enough talking for today. What I really need is to get out of here.” 

Kate finally spots her bag and snatches it from the kitchen counter. She starts to mumble instructions about the puppy’s meals and habits to no one in particular and makes a beeline to the front door. Her hand’s on the handle when Seth closes the door from behind her before she can get out. He’s got her caged against the door, her back to his front, and suddenly the mood completely shifts. Richie must feel it too because soon enough he’s mumbling his goodbyes and sneaking out the back door, taking the puppy with him. Kate stands still, the air rapidly rushing in and out of her lungs. She refuses to look at him. God only knows what stupid thing she might do if she has to look into his eyes again.

“Kate, would you please talk to me?” Seth rests his head on her shoulder, his breath brushing her skin like a caress. 

Her hand tightens its hold on the door knob. No, she can’t talk to him. She’s afraid of what she might say or do. She thought she was ready to face him again but she’s not. She can feel every single distracting hard line of his body against her back. She wants to tell him to please stop, but no words make it past her throat. She shakes him off, needing to get away from him to think clearly, and whirls around to face him.

“What do you want, Seth?” She huffs.

“I want you to answer my question. Do you still care?”

She looks him in the eye, biting her trembling lips; as if that would be enough to stop the words from leaving her mouth. But she can’t hold it in anymore. 

“I kept telling myself that I _didn’t_ care,” she offers quietly, slumping her shoulders in defeat. “I left you, along with my past, behind me. There was too much loss and pain attached to it and I knew if I ever wanted to recover I had to leave all of it behind. This was the only place where I found some sort of peace, and where I started to feel in control of myself again. I was here before Amaru completely took over, did you know that? That’s how I first met Sol, about a year ago. After the whole Amaru fiasco I didn’t have anywhere else to go and I found myself coming back here. Sol and her mother, they took me in. The memories of what I did while possessed... I couldn’t bear them. It took weeks before I managed to set foot out of my room. I started to work with Sol and then I helped them set up the loncheria with some of the money I had saved away from our robbing days. I loved this place. I had finally managed to start a new life away from everything, free from memories of you and Richie. But then--I heard about the mysterious, suited ‘gringos’ that moved into town; A charming one who was never seen out and about during daylight, and his much more reserved and short-tempered older brother.” She smiles humorlessly. 

“Upon hearing that, all my fears came rushing back. I couldn’t help but think my past had finally caught up to me. I managed to steer clear of you guys, until one day I accidentally caught sight of you. You walked into Sol’s restaurant like you owned the place and made yourself at home. I think I must’ve dropped about four orders that day when I heard the sound of your voice. Sol’s mom was so pissed at me over the broken plates. I had to stop going to work after that, out of fear of running into you.

“I contemplated leaving town after that. I knew having you here meant trouble. Plus, I didn’t think I was strong enough to see you both again without reverting to the mess I was a year ago. Then, Sol started talking to me about you guys, and I found myself wanting to know how you were doing. She’d let me know whenever you dropped by, then I would sneak into the restaurant through the back and peek at you from the kitchen. That night you guys went to Sol’s and found the puppy outside? I was there, I was actually on my way home after having found the dog on the side of the road. I got greedy and stuck around to see if I could catch a glimpse of you. I was terrified, I thought Richie was going to catch a hint of my scent so I bolted out of there and left the dog behind. The more I saw you, the more I realized something had changed. The thought of seeing you didn’t scare me anymore. I was so sure of it. I realized I could face you and put all our history behind me once and for all”

“If that’s the case then why did you try to run away just now?” 

“Because I’m not so sure anymore?” She says with a shaky breath. “Being face to face with you, having you this close again. It clouds my judgement.” she finishes, looking at the floor.

Kate feels like laughing at herself. How could she have been so dense? Why did she even think she could ever face Seth Gecko again without reverting to that foolish, naive little girl who fantasized of what their life together could’ve been if she had stayed with him instead of going back to Texas? The last time they saw each other she had a gun to his face and cursed him for ruining her life, and she meant every word she said. Back then she hated him for leaving her vulnerable to Amaru’s exploits. Over time the hate disappeared, leaving regret in its stead. Regret that she didn’t get a chance to tell him how she truly felt about him, even if she knew he would never reciprocate her feelings. She’s not the same person she was back then, and neither is he. They’ve both changed. 

As he stands before her right now there are so many things she wants to say. But her fear is holding her back. A year ago she told him she needed to disappear in order to heal. Only then would she be able to consider the possibility of forgiving him. But she already forgave him, didn’t she? If she hadn’t she wouldn’t be standing here. Seth seems to have come to the same realization because suddenly there’s a smug look in his eyes and he’s stepping towards her until he has her crowded against the door again.

Words barely slide through the tightness in her throat. “Seth, what are you doing?”

“There’s something I need to know. You answer me honestly and I’ll let you walk out that door. You won’t even have to see me again if you don’t want to.”

Kate swallows nervously and nods for him to go on. It sounds simple enough, and yet she feels like she’s being lured into a trap. Seth is, after all, a professional con artist. 

“Why does being close to me cloud your judgement, Kate?” 

And there it was. 

“I’m not doing this,” she mutters, reaching for the door handle.

Seth rapidly holds her wrist and pins it against the door. Kate glares up at him and tries to wriggle away but this only results in him tightening his hold on her.

“First answer my question, then you can go. It’s a simple question. Why are you running away from me, Kate? I know you don’t hate me anymore, otherwise you would not be here. There’s more to this, something you’re not telling me and I want to know what it is. Why is it so hard being here with me? Why did you really come back?”

“Because I still care!” She bursts out. “I still fucking care about you. There, I said it.”

Embarrassment washes through her instantly. Why did she have to say that? There’s no coming back from this. Whatever chance at a friendly relationship with Seth is gone now. There is no way in hell Seth he could ever reciprocate her feelings. 

“Preacher’s daughter strikes again.” Kate laughs bitterly. “This time around she went and fell for a thief who also happens to be _way_ older than her. It’s all very cliche, I know.” 

Seth stands thunderstruck at her confession and she feels like crawling into a hole. She waits for him to say something, anything. But he just stands there slack-jawed, unable to come up with a coherent response. 

“I shouldn’t have come here. Don’t worry about it, you’re not responsible for my feelings. This isn’t your fault and you don’t have to fix it. Let’s both just forget this conversation ever happened. I don’t expect anything from you and you obviously have nothing to say so I’m going to go ahead and let myself out.”

Kate breaks free of his hold and heads for the door when his voice stops her. “How do you know that?”

“What?” She eyes him, confused.

“How do you know I have nothing to say? You haven’t even let me get a word in.” Seth flails, clearly agitated.

“Are you serious? I practically poured my heart out to you and all you did was stand there looking like an idiot.”

“Fair enough. But you can’t just expect me to be fine and dandy after dropping that bomb on me.”  
His expression is a mixture of anger and confusion.

“You’re right. Sorry for barging into your paradise life and dropping all my emotional baggage on you.”

“That’s not what I mean--”

“Then what _do_ you mean, Seth? You’ve always claimed you like all of your cards on the table, and to keep things clear. But you’re a shady son of a bitch when it comes to your feelings.”

“Do you seriously need to ask me that? Do you _really_ not know exactly what you mean to me?” There’s a tremor in his voice when he says this.

Kate feels something warm opening up in her heart but she clamps it down. She’s tired of daydreaming and thinking of what-ifs. Seth can apparently tell she’s fighting what he’s trying to say because he takes advantage of her distraction and moves closer until they’re only inches apart.

“That day in the desert, do you even know what I was trying to say before you cut me off?” 

For months she lost sleep over it. She ran so many different scenarios through her head of what he might’ve said. She knows what she wanted him to say, and for a moment she actually believed he might’ve; but she didn’t dare hope. Because up until that day, he never gave her any clear signal of what he felt for her. She was aware he cared enough to watch over her all that time, but she didn’t know if it was due to the guilt he felt or if there was something more. The truth of the matter is neither of them were thinking clearly that day. Any type of confession coming from him could have been bullshit for all she knew, brought up from his heavy conscience. The last thing she wanted from him was his pity.

“Kate, I love you.” Seth murmurs, reaching for her face. “I love you so much it scares me.”

Kate feels all the protective layers she’s built around herself for the past year melting away. 

“For a long time you’ve been it for me. It just took me this long to get my head out of my ass and realize it. I know I fucked up, and I shouldn’t want you this badly. I don’t deserve you, and I probably never will, but fuck if I’m not willing to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I did to you.”

Her heart pounds so loudly the sound almost deafens her. Does he mean it? He looks as if he means it—raw, sincere, more serious than she's ever seen him. He looks into her eyes pleadingly, wanting her to believe him. There is so much love pouring from his eyes, such a vulnerability. She can’t recall ever seeing him like this, but suddenly a memory comes to her mind; Seth holding her in an old barn, his hands on her face, asking for forgiveness. What had she told him? _I don’t forgive you._ For a fraction of a second he’d looked at her this exact same way. 

The extent of his confession finally dawns on her, hitting her like a ton of bricks. All this time she felt so alone and crippled thinking there was no way he could ever return her feelings. She had come to terms with the idea that she’d have to spend the rest of her days alone. Even if she somehow managed to start over with a new identity the sins from her old life would be weighing her down. She didn’t want any more secrets and lies. Besides, no one in their right minds would be willing to be there for her without questioning her past. Except maybe Seth, who was there when everything went awry. Seth who saw her at her best and at her worst, and never judged her for it. Seth who now says he loves her. 

“What you just said... Is that a promise?” Her voice shakes.

“What?”

“You said you’re willing to spend the rest of your life making up for what you did. Do you mean it?”

“Yes,” he replies quickly. “ Kate, I swear to God if you give me a chance I--”

Seth doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Whatever he was about to say get lost in her lips when she launches herself at him. The kiss is rushed and sloppy and she pours all her pent up emotions into it. 

“I love you, too.” Kate sobs. “And if it’s up to me, I will never leave your side again. So, you’re stuck with me now.”

Seth laughs into their kiss, holds onto her waist and pulls her off the floor, pressing her hard against him. She wraps her thighs around him, causing them to break off their kiss for a little bit . He laughs at the way she chases after his lips. When he captures her mouth, again he lifts her up by her ass, making her gasp. Without breaking their kiss, he walks them all the way into his room. He sits on the bed and cups her face in his hands, tilting her head to get a better angle.

Kate desperately reaches behind him, grabbing at his shirt to get it off of him. There are too many layers; she needs to feel him. Seth breaks away just enough to take off his shirt and help her take off hers. She grabs him by the neck, crushing their mouths together again, but when Seth slides his hand between their bodies, closing it around her breast, she panics. 

“Wait-” She gasps, detaching herself from his lips

“Shit. Are you okay, do you want me to stop?” Seth asks concerned. “If you don’t feel ready we don’t have to--”

“No!” Kate quickly interjects. She wants this, _badly_. “I’m--I’m fine. Can we just, take it slow? I haven’t--” She rubs her temples, trying to say what’s going on without feeling like an idiot. “After everything that happened; the things Amaru did--it took a long time for my body to really feel mine, again.”

”Wait, did that bitch--” Rage clouds his eyes and Kate alarmingly realizes what he’s thinking.

“No! It wasn’t like that. Yes, she did take over my body and left a trail of death on her wake but she never used my body for _those_ things. I guess she had a code when it came to that stuff, thankfully.”

Seth visibly relaxes at her clarification and takes her hand. “Kate, I mean it. We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable.”

Seth Gecko turning down sex for her sake? Kate bites her lip to keep from smiling like a lunatic and twines her fingers in his. “I want this, I want you. I just don't really know how to go about it.” She trails off, embarrassed.

He smiles in understanding. “It’s okay. Just relax, let yourself feel. If we get to something you’re not comfortable with feel free to punch me.”

“Why, Seth, I didn’t know you were into that stuff,” Kate teases, feeling more at ease.

He answers with a grin of his own and pulls her in for a kiss; not too hard, not too soft. He takes his time caressing the planes of her face and Kate finds she wants more so she climbs back onto his lap and buries her hands in his hair. Seth caresses her hips and grabs onto them, slowly grinding her against the bulge in his pants. Kate feels an electric current running through her. They exchange languid kisses. He takes his time to make it slow and perfect for her, and she couldn’t love him more for it.

With every touch and caress she melts deeper into his touch. He brings his arms around her and flips them over so she’s sitting on the bed instead of straddling him. He runs his hand up her side, slipping his thumb inside the band of her bra. He grazes the underside of her breast and Kate loses her breath for a second. He’s only focused on her body; marveling at petal-soft feel of her skin under his fingertips. He leans in and kisses her neck, sucking on her pulse point.

“This okay?” He murmurs, softly nibbling at the underside of her jaw.

“Yes.” She sighs in response, throwing her head back. 

He lazily drags his hand down her stomach and Kate trembles at his touch. Gently, he pushes her onto the bed and begins undoing the button and zipper of her jeans. She’s waiting in anticipation for what she’s sure to come the moment he gets rid of her pants when his sudden grumbling startles her. He’s mumbling something about cursing whoever created skinny jeans because they’re a bit of a bitch to get off. 

He looks so offended Kate can’t hold in her laughter.

“A little help here?” He sighs in frustration.

Kate lifts her hips and with his help manages to shimmy out of her jeans. As soon as they’re completely off, he crawls his way up the bed, covering her body with his while holding his weight off her. 

“Now this, this I can definitely work with,” he murmurs, undoing the front clasp of her bra.

“You’re an idiot.” She whispers, her eyes studying his face as he watches her. 

“And you, sweetheart, are fucking magnificent,” he says breathlessly, peeling away the lacy cups covering her breasts. “So fucking beautiful.”

Now, Kate has always been happy with the way she looks. But, if she went ahead and said she did not feel a little bit insecure about exposing herself like this she’d be lying. She knows Seth’s a charmer, that he’s had his fair share of women; beautiful women at that. But right now? He only has eyes for her, and she feels like the most beautiful creature on earth. 

She realizes she’s all the way down to her panties and he’s still wearing pants. “Aren’t you a little overdressed?”

“Patience, sweetheart.” Seth chuckles.

His mouth licks a trail of fire every where it touches, leaving her squirming. He whispers her name and sweet nothings against her skin like a benediction. With the pads of his fingers he traces the outline of her breasts, feeling the rise and fall of her chest. He kisses the hollow of her throat, then lowers his head to her breast. Kate lets out a moan when he draws her nipple into his mouth. 

Seth kisses his way down her stomach, peeling off her panties as he goes, and her brain goes haywire. In the middle of her frenzy she senses what’s about to happen even before the brush of his lips against her inner thigh. She quickly tries to press her legs together.

“It’s okay, baby girl. Open up for me,” he whispers against her skin.

He strokes the soft, firm skin of her thighs and her legs fall open in response.

“So fucking beautiful.” 

She feels the brush of his breath against the deepest part of her. The first stroke of his warm tongue against her clit has Kate writhing senselessly. 

“Do you like that?” He murmurs.

“Yes,” she pants. “Fuck, yes.”

She buries her hands in his hair, unable to fight the pressure building low in her stomach. Her breath comes in quick pants; there’s an unmistakable wetness between her legs, and she feels feverish all over; it’s intoxicating, this feeling. 

Seth pushes her thighs open, his hands holding her in place. She bites her lip to keep from crying out at the overpowering sensation but fails, and soon enough she’s keening. Falling over the edge of pleasure thanks to the sweet torture he offers with his mouth.

“You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you.” 

She quivers at his admission, arching her body towards his mouth. Before she knows it he’s kissing her lips, and she tastes herself on his tongue. He wastes no time licking his way into her mouth; she feels this kiss awaken that primal desire in her lower stomach again. He breaks away to take off his pants and grab a condom. Kate whines at the loss of him, but he returns quickly, placing himself between her legs.

“You still sure about this?” Seth pants. 

Kate leans her forehead against his and nods. He rolls on the condom, poising himself at her entrance, and slowly enters her. 

“So fucking tight.” He groans as Kate lets out a gasp.

She stiffens at first, unaccustomed to the intrusion and the size of him. 

“It’s okay, baby girl.” Seth soothes her. 

He distracts her from the discomfort with more kisses and caresses, the warmth of his lips whispering promises in her ear. With slow, gentle strokes, he begins pumping in and out of her, leaving her breathless. Once he starts moving inside her she begins to unravel, crying out a series of expletives that would certainly earn her a scolding from her former sunday school teacher. She digs her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders, burying her mouth in his neck and biting into his flesh to muffle the sounds of her broken moans. She instinctively meets his every thrust, the muscles of his back quivering beneath her palms. Kate can’t help but relish at the wrecked sounds coming from his lips, knowing she’s the one doing this to him. He brings his hand between their bodies and with nimble fingers, he starts setting her body on fire again, causing the deep throb inside her to build up. Kate arches and strains against him, clinging onto him for dear life and riding through the waves of pleasure along with him. Seth’s lips find hers and he swallows every moan and cry she makes as they move together. He brings her over the edge a second time, then finally reaches his own peak. 

She always heard sex was good, mind blowing orgasms even better; she had spent plenty of time to becoming better acquainted with her own anatomy in the past, coaxing herself with images of a faceless man touching her and bringing her over the edge. None of her orgasms had been like this, though. 

They hold onto each other through the aftershocks of their lovemaking and Seth drops onto the bed, pulling Kate along so she’s lying half on top of him; her head resting on her forearms, eyes focused on his face. His hand caresses the length of her back, with the other Seth pushes a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and cups her cheek. 

“You okay there, princess?” 

Kate nods and kisses the palm of his hand. She feels the most incredible happiness she’s felt in a long time. Seth asked her once if she had found religion and right now she feels like she finally has. 

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Kate whispers.

Seth takes a hold of her hand and kisses it. “Yeah, that was certainly something. I suspected you were vocal, but I didn’t expect you to have such a colorful vocabulary.” he adds, lips twitching. 

Kate feels her face heating up in embarrassment and groans, dropping her face on his chest. “Oh, my God. Don’t.”

“Hey,” he says, lifting her chin with his finger, making her look at him. “I’m not complaining. I loved every single sound you made. It’s like music to my ears, so feel free to do it as often as you like. In fact, I think I’ll be ready in a few, so I’d be more than happy to make you come a few more times. ”

Kate snorts and shakes her head at him. “You’re a dork.” 

Seth grins back at her and pulls her closer, holding her to his chest and dropping a kiss on her forehead. She lets out a happy sigh and burrows closer. Minutes go by, where they hold each other in silence, she looks up and finds his eyes already closed, dark lashes fanning his cheekbones. 

_I guess the next round he promised is out of the question now_. She smiles to herself. 

Kate can’t help but look at him, drink in every single one of his features. With her fingers, she traces the length of his nose, the outline of his lips. _Mine_. She plants a kiss right over his heart and for the first time in months falls into a peaceful sleep; whispering his name like a prayer.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, I finished the damn fic. I can't believe it. I tried my best guys. Hope the smut wasn't too bad this is like my third attempt at writing it and I still cringe while trying to write it.
> 
> If you'd like to know how Sol and Kate originally met feel free to read my other fic "La Diabla" from my "The Darkness Within Her" series. I will come back to this universe sometime in the future to write more of how Kate and Sol's friendship came to be. I didn't realize the two fics were connected till I found myself writing about Sol meeting the Geckos, so it was fun writing their interactions.
> 
> Thank you so much to those who have stuck through with me and encouraged me with your comments and kudos. I have lots of love for you! 
> 
> I have an idea for an epilogue but that will have to wait since I will be preoccupied the next couple weeks what with my surgery and other things. Please remember to comment and let me know how you liked it, until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a poem by my lovely Dany @iwritebooksnottragedies on tumblr. I am so sorry this sucks but I had to write it. This will be a two parter. Part 1 was pure angst the next one hopefully won't be. My third attempt at fdtd fic, second at Sethkate. Hopefully it is not too ooc. Comments are my fuel so please let me you know what you think and whether or not I should even bother writing part 2. Constructive criticism is more than welcome


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